The problem with seriousness
I mean if you are looking for love
Not something soppy
Not something a pop song might sell you
But something serious
The problem with it - is that it takes such sensitivity
The way I see it, is this: life is raw.
Every one comes with their burdens and do what they do.
Then they have a kid or two.
Then, inevitably they dedicate themselves to that...and it is as if a great rush of ocean water comes and washes them away.
So people can help in little ways.
But the problem is that people are so self-involved with their little focus...
The me and mine...
Worshipping their gods in their temples....following their gurus...
Rarely pausing to find out with any depth what the hell they are doing it all for.
I think we demand far too little of life.
We settle for petty things.
I think we climb ladders without asking why. I mean ladders of progress.
But all too often - they end up leading us into cul-de-sacs.
Of course there are those fighting to survive.
And when you see the sickness of it all.
The whole rotten mess.
The madness of communism and the greed of capitalism...
If you are not angry...not reeling at the madness of little people with the rules and regulations...then you become sort of amalgamated - or you become an escapist and decry it all in bitter solitude.
Anger is a tremendous force.
I am not sure if, in the beginning stages, of human psychological evolution - if anger is an impediment. Equanimity - the goal of yoga - takes enormous guts. I mean it might be accessible in moments - to us all...but to really want to come to a state of equanimity....you have to be on fire and you have to be desperate.
Desperation, Thoreau remarked is the hallmark of a man who has everything but wisdom (or words to that effect). But I am not sure if that is entirely true. There is a quality of desperation that is valid - but it somehow lacks this sense of weakness which is typical of what we concieve of when we think of desperation. There is a bold desperation. A desperation that does anything to breathe. That can lift crushed cars from bodies in pain. That kind of desperation when focused is the same raw energy - at source - as anger....And if we are honest about it...it is not necessarily a bad thing.
On the contrary - it can inspire great things.
I don't think the psychology of positive mind states is a clean book. I think it takes a bit of dirt - I think idealistic altruism is the biggest cop out ever...I think organized religions are sicknesses. I think Jesus walked into the temple and overturned the tables of the money lenders because he was thoroughly sickened by man's inhumanity to man - depravity, laziness and cunning all go hand in hand.
I think if a man can observe...and if he knows what determination is...he becomes a very dynamic force in nature. I think he is what one might call dangerous.
It is funny to note that the way of capitalism leads to oligarchies. Huge corporations with a few fat men at the top who tower over us buying up every thing they can in the thirst for self-boosting mergers... and, ultimately, selling us all short.
In America and South Korea today (and elsewhere) there are these huge churches rising up - mimicing the corporations - huge bundles of drifters being tied together like blind theives...
The ant is a fine success story in evolution...it lives for its herd. I think that is a grand design in nature. But in man it leads to a dissolution of meaning - material success takes over and the loss of love is the price we pay for a very primitive form of efficiency. The church madness that organzied religions manifest in a corporate minded economy is entirely based on this. It has nothing to do with the true wisdom of selflessness...and everything to do with the blind following the blind.
Love is of another order. Yes, it takes learning to serve...You must love doing what you do - you must figure out how to honor whatever way life has gifted you with to function sanely in an insane world. I don't think it boils down to aphorisms and group education. I think that is the anithesis of intelligence - that just makes us into swotting children looking to get top marks on a silly test.
These are some of the background reasons why it is so hard to admire anyone. Because there are so many sticky traps...to fall into. So many ways to become blinded by our own gullibility. Until this is faced - depression is inevitable - as there is not the intelligence to look deeply and discern the tremendous pile of bullshit which most of us buy. What am I talking about? I am talking about the sad and limited thing that most of us call "our life." Waking up is a desperate act because it means throwing all that nonsense out...but that is rather rare in this world...people are generally far too precious and far too lazy.
It is a rare human being who ever learns the truly meaning and value of discipline.
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