Awareness-Blindness

Love takes intelligence. I speak of the love that shapes a life that is well-rounded - a life grounded in oneself - in discerning questions and the kind of decisive actions that follow from soul-searching and self-examination. There also has to be a quality of intense death-gazing. If you can look upon death peacefully from moment to moment then love must be working through you.

When I look around the world though I see a lot of shelved people - people fabricated out of media-"myths" -fragmented people with unquestioned lives...wearing masks fashioned out of necessity and boredom. It is funny how our personality shapes our view of the world. It also shapes our destiny.

I have always been one to ask questions - and verbal answers have never appeased me. I supposed that explains why mine is such a mystical path. It also has allowed me to see - how desperately dead we are to electricity of real myths. Our museum-view of myths have objectified them into inert fossils and somehow - especially in the West -life has been reduced to the buying and selling of experiences. And what is truly valuable cannot be bought. It can only be earned through dedication and right discrimination...and humility.

Traveling as I have done - ie not for a company or some holiday journey - you see people and countries for what they are - rather than as exhibits in a tourist brochure... - and their culture and background becomes less important. It is the little things which you notice. And they give so much away. The way people talk - one sees what is talking - rather than who is talking.

I used to have a friend - a young Whale research scientist who - for fun - used to play out different roles on flights everytimes he got on an airplane...one trip he'd be an engineer to his neighbor - the next he was a history professor... Just for kicks! I am not sure why he did it. But I think it was a way to make life more interesting for him. He was a lovely man - a very talented sailor and he had a real love and passion for marine life. But how looney! Yet, in retrospect - it dawned on me - how people who live very seriously - people who are very determined - who don't compromise - and false modesty aside - I feel I am in that category...perhaps he was not so crazy after all.

When you are living a life that is very passionate - not just a cardboard cutout of a life that one fashions to merely get by - but when you are really going deeply into something very dear to you - it is likely to take you into some very obscure and miraculous realms - and how does one convey that kind of mystery and distant beauty to another? Mostly, you can't. Unless you are lucky and you connect with someone who is equally serious...or perhaps just very sensitive.

It's ironic - because one yearns to share...what is beyond words....that awareness which transcends thought and makes life worth living. Perhaps we all find it in our own way - but I reckon very few really do - if they did the world would be far less callous and we would have a place for reverence...But we don't know what reverence is.

We have replaced it with TV dinners and sitcoms and all manner of "fillers-in" - to make us forget the drudgery of our existence. Churchgoers spout on about reverence - but they mistake it for what is really blind obedience and a weary, flimsy kind of faith. Reverence has nothing to do with belief systems. It cuts through all those illusions. It took crisis for me to find it.

I think of my friend in London, whose mother died of cancer. She went back to work a couple weeks later - she was in marketing - and her whole office went up in arms over a spelling mistake in a campaign....and she knew then that she had to get out and do something else - because when you reduce life to such plastic-ness you somehow inadvertently kill yourself in the process...and she was too aware, too sensitive, to red-raw to be swallowed up by that kind of blindness.

Wow - how many strains of "awareness"-blindness there are! I mean when you REALLY look, almost everyone is blind in one way or another. Yet nature IS persistent. The flowers poke through the weeds somehow. The Art teacher at my old school summed up the problem of human beings: "They have talent here. But they are all too lazy to capitalize on it." I'm sure there is a lot to that.

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Mind is the closest thing to our Reality...Be careful how you use it. Businessman, yogi, teacher, addicted to laughing...